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Auradon
Mal's dream
Mal: Let's give Auradon a taste of evil. Wicked ways beneath the skin... let all who taste it now join in.
All:

♫ We got all the ways to be ♫
♫ W-I-C-K-E-D ♫
♫ We got all the ways to be ♫
♫ W-I-C-K-E-D ♫

♫ Come on! ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♫

Mal:

♫ Crashing the party ♫
♫ Guess they lost my invitation ♫
♫ Friendly reminder ♫
♫ Got my own kind of persuasion ♫

Carlos:

♫ Looks like this place could use ♫
♫ A bit of misbehavior ♫
♫ Happily ever after ♫
♫ With a little flavor ♫

Jay:

♫ We're bad to the bone ♫
♫ With even worse intentions ♫
♫ We're gonna steal the show ♫
♫ And leave 'em all defenseless ♫

Evie:

♫ A fairy tale life can be ♫
♫ Oh-so overrated ♫
♫ So raise your voices and ♫
♫ Let's get it activated ♫

All:

♫ Long live havin' some fun ♫
♫ We take what we want ♫
♫ There's so many ways to be wicked ♫
♫ With us evil lives on the right side of wrong ♫
♫ There's so many ways to be wicked ♫

♫ Apple, apple ♫
♫ Dip, dip ♫
♫ Wanna try it? ♫
♫ Tick, tick ♫
♫ Take a bite ♫
♫ Come on, be bold ♫
♫ Change the way the story's told ♫

Mal:

♫ This time the dark is ♫
♫ Finally getting your attention ♫

Evie:

♫ We're wicked by the book ♫
♫ And class is back in session ♫

Jay:

♫ You like it, steal it ♫
♫ Gotta beat 'em to the treasure ♫

Carlos:

♫ A rite of passage ♫

All:

♫ Bad just doesn't get much better ♫

♫ Long live havin' some fun ♫
♫ We take what we want ♫
♫ There's so many ways to be wicked ♫
♫ With us evil lives on the right side of wrong ♫
♫ There's so many ways to be wicked ♫

Mal: ♫ Mother always knows best ♫
Evie: ♫ Show her, pass every test ♫
Carlos: ♫ Hear her voice in my head ♫
Jay: ♫ Evil is the ♫
All:

♫ Only real way to win ♫

♫ We got all the ways to be ♫
♫ (Hey, hey, hey, hey) ♫
♫ W-I-C-K-E-D ♫

Jay: ♫ Let's go! ♫
All:

♫ We got all the ways to be ♫
♫ (Hey, hey, hey, hey) ♫
♫ W-I-C-K-E-D ♫

♫ Long live havin' some fun ♫
♫ We take what we want ♫
♫ There's so many ways to be wicked ♫
♫ With us evil lives on the right side of wrong ♫
♫ There's so many ways to be wicked ♫

♫ Cruel and unusual ♫
♫ We're taking control ♫
♫ There's so many ways to be wicked ♫
♫ With us evil lives on the right side of wrong ♫
♫ There's so many ways to be wicked ♫

♫ (Hey, hey, hey, hey) ♫
♫ We got all the ways to be ♫
♫ W-I-C-K-E-D ♫
♫ We got all the ways to be ♫
♫ W-I-C-K-E-D ♫
♫ We got all the ways to be ♫
♫ W-I-C-K-E-D ♫
♫ We got all the ways to be ♫
♫ So many ways to be wicked ♫

Reality: Auradon Prep
Reporter #1: Mal, please, over here! Mal!
Reporter #2: Only three days to the Royal Cotillion. Ever think a girl like you would be Lady of the Court?
Reporter #3: How does it feel to be the most envied girl in Auradon?
Reporter #4: Well, do you like being blonde?
Reporter #5: Is your mother still a lizard?
Ben: Okay. All right. Excuse me. Uh, we will let you know

if and when that particular situation changes.

Reporter #2: Did you ever think you'd be with a Villain Kid?
Ben: We're done here.
Fairy Godmother: Okay. Shush, shush. Shoosh, shoosh. Shoosh, shoosh. This is still a school, so if you're here, you're either skipping or trespassing.
Reporter #3: Just one quick question.
Fairy Godmother: Shush. Shush.
Reporter #3: Fairy Godmother!
Fairy Godmother: Shhh. Shhh. Shhh.
Ben: Thank you, guys.
Mal: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Fairy Godmother: Mal. Ben.
Mal: Fairy Godmother.
Ben: Fairy Godmother.
Mal: Whew.
Ben: Don't pay any attention to them.
Mal: Well, that's a lot easier said than done, right?
Ben: I know. I know. You know, maybe we should do something. We should go somewhere. Get away.
Mal: Yeah.
Ben: You know, what do-- I have a council meeting. I'm so late!
Mal: That's okay.
Ben: We'll-- We'll do it sometime. Uh...
Evie: If we don't do a fitting for your gown right this minute, you'll be dancing in your bathrobe, okay? Hi. Let's go. Let's go.
Mal: Bye, Ben.
Ben: Bye.
Reporters: King Ben! King Ben! King Ben!
Ben: Uh...
Mal and Evie's Dorm
Mal: Oh! Okay, Evie, I cannot breathe.
Evie: Well, you can breathe after Cotillion.
Mal: Well, I sincerely doubt that. I have at least 20 more events directly behind it, and I can't even remember what a single one of them is.
Evie: Impeccable.
Mal: Evie?
Evie: Hmm?
Mal: Do you ever think about what we'd be doing if we were back on the Isle right now?
Evie: That's funny. Ah! Look who's on TV.
TV: As the royal couple continues their tour of the kingdom, they dined with Aladdin and Jasmine. Six months ago...
Mal: Yeah.
TV: No one thought King Ben and his girlfriend from the wrong side of the bridge would last.
Mal: Yeah. No kidding.
TV: Mal must be counting the days until the Royal Cotillion... when she will officially become a Lady of the Court.
Mal: Read it fast at lightning speed. Remember everything I need.
Evie: I know Mal's secret to fitting in, and Ben wouldn't like it one bit. Haven't you guys had enough secrets between the two of you already?
Mal: Evie, you remember what I was like before I started using my spell book. I mean, I was a complete disaster.
Evie: Well, personally, as your best friend, I strongly believe that this spell book--
Mal: Ah!
Evie: It belongs in the museum, along with my mirror. Don't give me the face. Put the pout away. Mm-hmm. You know I'm right.
Mal: You don't ever miss running wild and just breaking all the rules?
Evie: Like stealing and lying and fighting?
Mal: Yeah!
Evie: No!
Mal: What?
Evie: Why would we? M, come here. Look at where we are. We're in Auradon! And we're Auradon girls now.
TV: Since Mal revealed her love of strawberries, she has received hundreds of cartons from her admirers. Here she is enjoying a cozy bite...
Evie: See, this is the land of opportunity. We can be whatever we want to be here. So, please,

let's just leave the past in the past, okay? Besides, I mean, look at the shoes. Look at them.

Mal: Mm. Severe.
Aurdon Prep
Female #1: Hi, Jay.
Jay: Hey.
Female #2: Jay.
Jay: Hey, what's up?
Female #3: Hi.
Carlos: Why do you torture them? Just pick someone to take to Cotillion already.
Jay: I'm going solo. That way, I can dance with all of them.
Carlos: Ah! You're the expert. Um, Jay... if you were gonna ask someone, what's the best way to go?
Jay: Listen, all you got to do... is look like me.
Carlos: Oh, ha-ha.
Jane: Mal.
Carlos: Hey, Jane.
Jane: Hey.
Carlos: I was wondering...uh... if you liked the.... carrot cake last night.
Jane: I had the pumpkin pie.
Carlos: Oh, cool. Um, uh--
Jay: Smooth.
Evie: I have an opening for a fitting at 3:00. Who wants it?
Lonnie: Me! Sorry.
Evie: Perfect. I'll take you later.
Jane: Mal?
Mal: Yes?
Jane: I hate to keep bugging you, but the decorating committee needs more answers. So, as much as I hate to, um... you know, um...
Mal: Bug me?
Jane: Right.
Mal: Yeah, Jane, I would love to. I just have to get to class.
Jane: You know, just nod if you like it.
Mal: Okay.
Jane: Chair swags. Entry banner. Twinkle lights. Napkin design. Table bunting. And you still haven't picked the party favors yet.
Mal: Honestly, Jane, whatever you think--
Jane: I mean, we can do chains, key charms, pen toppers. I kind of love the pen toppers, but, I mean, we can do all three.
Mal: [Mal's eyes flash green] I say pen toppers.
Jane: Yeah?
Mal: Yeah.
Jane: You won't regret it.
Mal: Okay.
Lonnie: I can hardly wait to see what your wedding will look like!
Mal: Me, too. Wait! What?!
Jane: The Royal Cotillion is like getting engaged to be engaged to be engaged.
Evie: I knew it!
Lonnie: Well, everyone knows it.
Mal: I didn't know it! How come nobody told me that? Is my entire life just planned out in front of me--
Ben: Hi, Mal.
Lonnie, Jane and Evie: Hi, Ben.
Jane: Oh, oh. Quick moment.
Ben: Uh...
Jane: All right, they're almost finished with the surprise for Mal's big night. Snow White, Belle. But the one you designed for Mal is my favorite.
Ben: Make sure her eyes are green. [to Mal] Uh... see you later.
Mal: Okay.
Jane: Which green should they use?
Ben: Uh... This one.
Mal and Evie's dorm
Chad Charming: What about peacock feathers? Yeah, I bet you nobody's gonna have those at Cotillion.
Evie: Chad, when I look at you, all I can think of is... "king."
Chad: [gasps]
Evie: And fake fur... Uh-huh. ...fake fur says it all.
Doug: Loud and clear.
Jay: [enters] Amphitheater in five!
Chad: Why did the coach make him captain instead of me? I'm obviously better. "King Chad," though. I do rather like that. You know who else would like that?
Evie: Who?
Chad: Audrey.
Evie: She would.
Jay: Chad, let's go.
Chad: I'm coming. Yeah. Oh.
Evie and Doug: Not a lot of there there.
Evie: Someone's obviously having some trouble dealing with his break-up with Audrey.
Doug: Yes. I've been doing the numbers.
Evie: Yeah?
Doug: And after we collect from all the girls for their gowns and Chad's cape...
Evie: Wow! No wonder people work. What am I gonna do with all this money?
Doug: I think in the next few years, you could buy that castle you always wanted. That way, you wouldn't need a prince.
Evie: You're right, I don't. Because I have you.
Auradon Prep: Lockers
Ben: Hi, Mal.
Mal: Hi.
Ben: I have a little surprise for you.
Mal: Again? Wow. That's like every day now.
Ben: Or every other day. The even dates. Because you're... even more perfect than I thought.
Mal: That is me. I am perfect.
Ben: Come on, let me spoil you. You didn't have a lot growing up.
Mal: We managed.
Ben: Hey, didn't you donate that to the museum?
Mal: Is that still in there? Um, I got to get to class. I really don't want to be late.
Ben: No. You come this way. First off... Ta-da!
Mal: What?!
Ben: You like it?
Mal: Ben... does an ogre like cheese puffs? This is amazing! It's purple. I didn't get you anything.
Ben: You're taking me on a picnic with all my favorite foods, remember?
Mal: No, that's Thursday.
Ben: It is Thursday.
Mal: No, it's not.
Ben: Yes, it is.
Mal: No, it's not.
Ben: It is.
Mal: I knew that.
Ben: I mean, if you don't have it, that's fine.
Mal: No, no, no. I was fully messing with you. I knew it was Thursday. I just have one more thing to go bake, and then I am all yours.
Ben: Well, what about class?
Mal: She multi tasks.
Ben: She dabbles.
Mal: She dabbles.
Ben: You're the best!
Mal: That's me!
Auradon Prep
Jay: All right, boys. Let's line it up. Carlos, you're with me. Let's go.
Carlos: Yeah.
Jay: Assembler. Salute. Lower the point. Masks down. En garde. Keep your center!
Carlos: Whoa!
Jay: Eyes on your opponent! Up and over.
Carlos: Get him, Jay!
Jay: Practice.
Carlos: Watch out, Jay.
Chad: Nice!
Carlos: Jay, what happened?
Chad: Finish him.
Jane: It's Lonnie!
Jay: Not bad.
Lonnie: You should put me on the team.
Chad: Hey, w-what?! No, no, no. We'll-- We'll be the laughing stock of the league. A-And what's gonna happen next? We'll have girls playing tourney? Come on, guys.
Jay: So?
Chad: So? Uh, so, have you not read the rule book? Section 2, paragraph 3, 11-4. "A team will be comprised of a captain and eight men." Hmm? Why don't you read the rule book?
Lonnie: Okay, yeah, but you're down a man! I mean, since Ben had to leave to do all that king stuff.
Chad: Exactly. We're down a man.
Lonnie: Jay...
Jay: I'm sorry. Coach trusts me. I'm not gonna stay captain if I just throw out the rule book.
Lonnie: If my mother thought that way, she would have lost the war.
Chad: Okay. Rule book. Rule book.
Jay: All right, guys. Practice is over. Let's go.
Carlos: Jane! Jane, hey. Hey.
Jane: Hey, Carlos, what's up?
Carlos: Uh... Not much. You?
Jane: Way too much. We were gonna go with the blue and gold banners for Cotillion, but now we can't find the right shade of blue.
Carlos: Oh, yeah, no, that's a-- that's a bummer. Um, speaking of Cotillion--
Jane: I know, right? It's all anybody is talking about. Cotillion 24/7.
Carlos: I--
Jane: It's like they've never been to one before.
Carlos: Uh...I haven't, actually.
Jane: Oh. Lucky. I always end up serving punch with my mom anyway. This year, I got stuck on the decorating committee because Audrey went off to a spa vacation with Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather.
Carlos: Jane, maybe we should just--
Jane: Skip the whole thing? I really, really wish I could. It's so nice to have a friend who's on the same wavelength.
Carlos: Oh, you got me.
Jane: I got to go. Great practice, though.
Carlos: Yeah.
Jane: See ya. [to the phone] Hey Mom.
Carlos: It wasn't the right time, all right?
Carlo's and Jay' dorm
"How to get out of the friend zone."
Reporter: They dined with Aladdin and Jasmine.
Carlos: I see you reading over my shoulder.
TV: Six months ago, no one thought... the wrong side of the bridge would last. Mal must be counting the days until the Royal Cotillion, when she will officially become a Lady of the Court.
Carlos: Whoa. Easy, girl.
Mal: What? You think this is so easy?! You don't have people taking a photo of you every single time you open your mouth to say boo! I mean, it's not that I could even say, "Boo," but, you know what I--
Carlos: I'm sorry.
Mal: Carlos, don't you ever miss screaming at people and just making them run away from you?
Carlos: You're thinking of my mother, and I was usually on the other end of that. So, not really. No. Oh, hey! Did you bring it?
Chad: Hi. Just came to use your 3D printer. Won't be a sec.
Carlos: How'd you get a key to my room?
Chad: Oh, I printed it off last time I was in here. Uh... you guys were sleeping. Look, I just-- Your printer's so much better than mine, and you install these hacks and everything runs so much smoother than mine and--
Carlos: Out! Now.
Chad: Fine. Fine.
Carlos: Chad!
Chad: What? Hmm?
Carlos: Leave the key. Mal?
Mal: Hmm?
Carlos: My potion?
Mal: Hmm. Yeah. Um...
Carlos: So, this thing will make me say what I really feel to Jane?
Mal: Yeah. I mean, this is a truth gummy, so take it or leave it.
Carlos: Perfect.
Mal: Hold on, though. Are you sure that you want to be taking this? Because this is gonna make you say the truth all the time, no matter what, and the only reason that I'm asking is because I know that if I took this right now, I would get myself sent back to the Isle. Which, it's not that that sounds super unappealing, but, you know...
Carlos: Yeah. I'll take my chances, I guess.
Mal: Okay. Ohh! Bad dog!
Dude the Dog: Man, that thing was nasty! And you-- you just got to man up. And while you're at it, scratch my butt.
Mal: You heard him. Scratch his butt.
Carlos: Mal. You're just gonna leave me with him?
Dude: Come on. You scratch your own all the time.
Isle of the Lost
Uma: Poser.
Harry Hook: Traitor!
Uma: Hello?
Harry: Oh, I would love to wipe the smiles off their faces. You know what I mean?
Uma: Gil! You want to quit choking down yolks and get with the program?
Gil: Yeah. What they said.
Uma: That little traitor, who left us in the dirt.
Harry: Who turned her back on evil.
Gil: Who said you weren't big or bad enough to be in her gang. Back when we were kids. Come on, you guys remember. She called her Shrimpy, and the name just kind of... stuck.
Uma: That snooty little witch, who grabbed everything she wanted and left me nothing.
Gil: No, she left you that sandbox, and then she said that you could have the shrimp--
Uma: I need you to stop talking.
Harry: Look, we have her turf now. They can stay in Bore-adon.
Uma: Harry, that's her turf now! And I want it, too. We should not be getting her leftovers. Son of Hook, son of Gaston, and me, most of all, daughter of Ursula! What's my name?
Harry: Uma!
Uma: What's my name?
Gil: Mm. Uma?
Uma: What's my name? What's my name?
All: Uma!
Uma:

♫ This is all hands on deck ♫
♫ Calling out to lost boys and girls ♫
♫ I'm gettin' tired of the disrespect ♫
♫ We won't stop 'til we rule the world! ♫

♫ It's our time, we up next! (next, next) ♫
♫ Our sail's about to be set (set, set) ♫
♫ They ain't seen nothing yet! ♫

Uma and Harry: ♫ Tell 'em who's in charge so they don't forget ♫
Uma and (other pirates):

♫ What's my name? What's my name? (Uma) ♫
♫ Say it louder! ♫
♫ What's my name? What's my name? (Uma) ♫
♫ Feel the power! ♫

♫ No one's gonna stop us ♫
♫ Soon the world will be ours ♫

♫ What's my name? What's my name? ♫
♫ What's it? What's it? ♫
♫ Say it loud! ♫

♫ (Uuuuuuma) ♫
♫ (Uuuuuuma) ♫
♫ All eyes on me ♫
♫ Let me see 'em! ♫
♫ (Uuuuuuma) ♫
♫ (Uuuuuuma) ♫
♫ What's it? What's it? ♫
♫ Say it! Say it! ♫

♫ (Uuuma-ah-ah-ah) ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Um) ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Uma) ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Um) ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Uma) ♫
(Uma) ♫

♫ I'm the queen of this town ♫
♫ I call the shots, you know who I am ♫
♫ I don't need to wear no fake crown ♫
♫ Stand up to me, you don't stand a chance ♫

♫ It's our time, we up next! (next, next) ♫
♫ My crew's as real as it gets (gets, gets) ♫
♫ The worst is now the best ♫

Uma and Harry: ♫ And leaving us here will be their last regret! ♫
Uma and (other pirates):

♫ What's my name? What's my name? (Uma) ♫
♫ Say it louder! ♫
♫ What's my name? What's my name? (Uma) ♫
♫ Feel the power! ♫

♫ No one's gonna stop us ♫
♫ Soon the world will be ours! ♫

♫ What's my name? What's my name? ♫
♫ What's it? What's it? ♫
♫ Say it! Say it! ♫

Harry:

♫ You know what they say ♫
♫ Bad girls have all the fun ♫
♫ Never learned to count ♫
♫ 'Cause I'm number one ♫

♫ Ready here we come ♫
♫ We always get out way ♫
♫ It's a pirate's life ♫
♫ Every single day ♫

♫ (Hey!) ♫

♫ (Uuuuuuma) ♫
♫ She's the captain ♫
♫ I'm the first mate ♫
♫ (Uuuuuuma) ♫
♫ Enemies seasick ♫
♫ Can't see straight ♫

♫ (Uuuuuuuma) ♫
♫ Call 'em fish bait ♫
♫ Throw 'em on a hook ♫
♫ (Uuuuuuuma) ♫
♫ Uma's so hot ♫
♫ They get burned if they look ♫

Uma and (other pirates):

♫ All eyes on me ♫
♫ Let me see 'em! ♫

♫ I see your eyes on me, boys (Hey!) ♫
♫ You know what my name is ♫
♫ Say it! ♫
♫ Say it louder! ♫

♫ Hook me! ♫
♫ (Ho!) ♫
♫ Woo! ♫
♫ (Ha ha!) ♫
♫ Ah ha ha ha ♫

♫ What's my name? What's my name? (Uma) ♫
♫ Say it louder! ♫
♫ What's my name? What's my name? (Uma) ♫
♫ Feel the power! ♫

♫ No one's gonna stop us ♫
♫ Soon the world will be ours! ♫

♫ What's my name? What's my name? (Uma) ♫

♫ (Uuuuuuuma) ♫
♫ (Uuuuuuuma) ♫
♫ All eyes on me ♫
♫ Let me see 'em! ♫
♫ (Uuuuuuuma) ♫
♫ (Uuuuuuuma) ♫
♫ What's it? What's it? ♫
♫ Say it! Say it! ♫

♫ (Uuuuuuuma) ♫
♫ Ooh, say it louder! ♫
♫ Ooh, say it louder! ♫
♫ (Uuuuuuuma) ♫

♫ What's it? What's it? ♫
♫ Say it! Say it! ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Um) ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Uma) ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Um) ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Uma) ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Um) ♫
♫ (Uma Uma la la Um) ♫
♫ (Uma) ♫

Ursula: Shut your clams!
Uma: Mom!
Ursula: These dishes ain't gonna wash themselves!
Uma: It's fine. It's fine. 'Cause when I get my chance to rain down the evil on Auradon, I will take it! They're gonna forget that girl and remember the name--
Gil: Shrimpy!
Harry: Mm-hmm.
Gil: Ah.
Auradon
Mal: Would you like a hot hors d'oeuvre?
Ben: Yes, please. Mmm! This is the best thing I've ever had.
Mal: So, you like it? I more than like it. I, uh... mmm-- so like it. Beef ragout?
Ben: Yeah.
Mal: This is amazing.
Ben: Did I surprise you?
Mal: Oh, yeah, you surprised me. This is every single dish Mrs. Potts made for my parents.
Ben: What did it take you? Three days?
Mal: You know, don't even ask me.
Ben: Yeah. Well, it means a lot that you stopped and did all this for me. Especially with all the craziness you've been put through. I've missed you. We don't get much time to be just us anymore.
Mal: I know.
Ben: You can't take me anywhere, right?
Mal: Uh...
Ben: Do you have a-- Do you have a napkin or something?
Mal: I do! I packed some.
Ben: Oh, there is--
Mal: I think I stowed them away. I can grab them.
Ben: What's this?
Mal: I actually threw that in there super last-minute in case it rained or--
Ben: "Speed reading" spell. "Blonde hair" spell. "Cooking" spell. And I was giving you props for fitting in so well, for doing your best.
Mal: Take back this moment that has passed. Return it-- Reverse it--
Ben: Are you trying to spell me right now?!
Mal: Ben, it has been so hard for me!
Ben: Yes! Some things are hard! Do you think learning to be king has been easy for me?
Mal: No!
Ben: I thought we were doing this together!
Mal: Ben, we are in this together.
Ben: But we're not, Mal. We're not. Y-You've been keeping secrets and lying to me. I thought we were done with that. This isn't the Isle of the Lost, Mal.
Mal: Yeah. Believe me, I know that!
Ben: Then why are you doing this?
Mal: Because... I'm not one of those pretty pink princesses, Ben. I'm not one of those ladies from the Court. I'm a big fake, okay? I'm fake. This is fake. This is fake. Take this feast, this sumptuous meal, return it back to what is real. This is who I really am.
Ben: Mal.
Mal: No. No.
Ben: Peanut butter and jelly is my favorite!
Mal's and Evie's dorm
Mal: I don't belong here. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's blow this popsicle stand. Yeah? Noble steed, proud and fair, you shall take me anywhere. Okay. Whew. Please work. Oh!
Ben's office
Ben: Deborah?
Deborah: Yes, Your Majesty?
Ben: Can you ask Lumiere to call me regarding Cotillion?
Deborah: Yes, sir.
Ben: Thank you.
Evie:

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